- Do you ever doubt yourself, your knowledge, experience and abilities?
- Are you often afraid of making mistakes?
- Do you sometimes get a knot in your stomach and think that you will screw things up and that you are somehow not enough?
I´m going to ask you to relax right now,
you are not the only one dealing with this!
Even people who have had great successes, with their families, sports, education, work or in other areas, have tendencies to doubt their own abilities and have thoughts on other people finding out that they are not capable enough, don´t know enough etc.
A lot of people are fighting this kind of fear and have conversations with themselves in their heads where they discuss back and forth how they will never succeed in what they are doing or that their dreams will never come true so they might just as well stop right now.
Earlier this year a book called “Lean In” was published. The book is about Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook.
In the book Sheryl talks a lot about fear and self-doubt. She tells that in her workplace employees are encouraged to conquer their fears and there are posters all over the workplace with slogans on this, her favorite being “What would you be doing if you had no fear?” Great question worth answering for everyone I think.
Sheryl is like me and you, she sometimes fights self-doubt, doubts herself and her successes.
That is remarkable, especially in the light of the fact that in August of 2011 she was ranked number 5 on Forbes´ list of 100 most powerful women in the world.
Sheryl was not too happy when the list was published. She had thoughts on this list being ridiculous (even though she knew how scientifically the list was put together), she felt uncomfortable when people gratulated her on being on the list and she felt embarrassed.
Then a co-worker of hers suggested that she should just say “Thanks“.
She says that she knows her success comes from a lot of work, help from others, being the right person in the right place at the right time and many other things, yet she sometimes fights self-doubt.
In my coaching I sometimes work with people that are fighting self-doubt and I help them reset their thoughts on themselves, both intellectually and emotionally, to re-program this error in their heads.
One of the things I do with people fighting self-doubt is to ask them to remind themselves and list up everything they have achieved and everything they are capable of and that way conquer their self-doubt.
Constant self-doubt can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you keep doubting yourself you become insecure and likely to make more mistakes and with that you again feed your self-doubt.
Sometimes you have to “fake it until you make it”.
You might have to do what actors do, go to your emotional-bank, remind yourself of moments when you were full of confidence and then just step into that feeling.
For you to be able to grow and develop yourself, and being able to utilize all the opportunies life has to offer you have to believe in yourself and your own abilities.
Self-doubt and tearing yourself down is way greater hindrance for you than anything else in your life.
Now go grab a pen and paper, list all your achievements, everything you are capable of etc. and conquer your self-doubt once and for all!